Days before taking these pictures, I was an extremely sad person. I just realized that I wasn’t happy and I was feeling very frustrated and low. I took some time to do some soul searching and find myself again because I realized a part of me was missing. I talked to some of my closest friends and very profound words stuck with me: “You are in control of your happiness”. They are words we hear so many times but they really struck me at that particular point in time as I realized that I had yielded over this power to everyone else but myself. I relied on people to make me happy, or on things to make me happy. My small sister asked me “What are the first five things that make you happy?” and I immediately mentioned things that made me happy. She stopped me and said, ” You should have mentioned yourself first”!Wow! That was my eye opener.
Photography by Shem Obara
Jumpsuit: Kendra’s Fashion House
I sat down and really looked at what was causing my sadness. Most of it had to do with frustrations as to why I was not exactly where I wanted to me. I felt like I was nowhere near my goals and was feeling frustrated as to why some things were taking longer to happen. At the same time I was worried about the future. I also found that I spent a lot of time on social media doing nothing so constructive and this can make one start comparing their lives with others. I know I have said it before that comparison is the thief of joy but I too, fall victim of this sometimes.
I soon realized that I had the power to work harder towards what I want. I had the power to control the outcome. I had the power to be disciplined and stay focused on my goals. I feel like prior to this, I was not really working hard enough and I waited for things to just happen. I needed to also let go of my worries. I remember going down on my knees and asking God to show me the way where there was no clarity and to open doors for me that I had knocked on for so long. Praying really relieved me a lot of worries because there is nothing as powerful as telling your worries about God and to God. And that same evening, one of my prayers was answered.
I have since resolved to write down a few goals I want to achieve by the end of the year. It sounds like a really easy thing to do but it isn’t. It is more of a reality check with yourself. While at it, I have let go of what I think my life is supposed to look like. Instead, I am celebrating it for everything it is right now. Being happy is a personal thing and it really has nothing to do with anyone else. No one can make you happy until you are happy with yourself first. You will be exactly as happy as you decide to be.
These photos will always remind me of the day I chose to be happy despite everything happening around me. There will be sad moments, but they will not weigh me down. I have accepted where I am in life and I will keep making the most out of every day.
I will leave you with one quote my boyfriend keeps repeating to me; ” Today may be a bad day. Tomorrow will be worse. But the day after tomorrow will be a great day. Most people don’t see the great day because they gave up when it got worse.”
you find your happiness. I hope you choose to be happy not because everything is perfect. But because you choose to focus on the perfect moments. Just be happy.